October 31, 2011

My Letter to the 7 Billionth Citizen of the World

Today, the 31st of August, 2011, the world population would reach 7 Billion. This is what i have to say to the the child that makes us hit that milestone:


Dear Mr./Miss Seven Billion,

I would address you  like how I addressed the 1 Billionth child born in 1830, the 2 Billionth child in 1930, the 3 Billionth child in 1960, 4 Billionth child in 1975, 5 Billionth child in 1989 and the 6 Billionth child in 1999. Although, the circumstance in which you were born is different from that of the previous children mentioned above. You are the 7 Billionth child born in the world and that's a special landmark for the world.

You were born in a time of revolutions in the Middle East, drug wars in the Central America,  economic crises in Europe and loss of jobs in America. You would hear of things like natural disasters (perhaps, the Turkish President and the Thai  Prime Minister can enlighten you on that after the recent earthquakes and floods in their respective countries), but I pray you don't experience them. Also, you must learn how  to spend money well so you wouldn't be a victim of the recession (the Greek President could give you some tutorials on that out of experience)

In this world you would meet a lot of good and bad people. You were born shortly after the death of some seriously bad men. One of them died a couple of days ago after ruling his country for 42 years and terrorizing his subjects while another one was killed a couple of months ago and was buried at sea after notoriously earning the title of the world's most wanted man. Your history teacher would teach you about a very very good man called Adolf Hitler (I hope your literature teacher tells you the meaning of sarcasm). There are also good men in the world. In fact,  before you came to this world, the "Apple of our eyes" left us (perhaps, I might get you an iSad to console you) . You would grow up using his gadgets and inventions  and I would like you to impact the world just like how he did.


                                                   The Good, Bad, Ugly and the Beast

They say out of six blacks in the world, one is a Nigerian. So if you are a black, there is a high probability that you are a Nigerian. You might be wondering what Nigeria is. Nigeria is a country with good people and it's a great nation with the happiest people on earth and the highest paid politicians in the world! We have a President that was shoeless when he was young, and now that he's old is clueless with a First Lady that probably skipped English classes while at school. We just had the first indigenous successful suicide bomber some couple of months and our President said it is Nigerians turn to deal with such issues. If you are a boy, you are expected to die by the age of 38 in this country but I pray God preserves your life. If you are a girl, there is a slim chance that you might go to the university. Nevertheless, you'll be celebrated as the 167 millionth Nigerian!

So my dear 7 Billionth citizen of the world, I'll advise you to live each day like it's the last and trust in God to watch over you. Welcome to the world. Hope you have a nice time!!!

But Seriously … WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!!!

October 19, 2011

The Tale of Four Governors

It's been a while since I've done a post on this blog. It was due to some circumstances beyond my control (permit me for using that lame excuse that media houses always use). A lot of water has gone under the bridge since the last time I posted a piece. Most notable is the unfortunate bombings that were carried out by the Boko Haram guys. May God console the families of the lost and wishing the other victims speedy recoveries.

Actually, what woke me up from my "blogging sleep" was not the bombings but the arrest of four (4) former governors by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC).  The governors are Gbenga Daniel,  Adebayo Alao-Akala, Danjuma Goje, Aliyu Akwe Doma. As we all know, it's a normal thing for ex-governors to be rightly "harassed" by the EFCC especially when their successors are from an opposing party but the money involved in the case of these four men is really appalling, upsetting and inexcusable! These men were arrested for "misusing" $674 million (that's over 100 billion naira)! They all have different degrees of misappropriation of money but I'll evenly divide the 100 billion naira amongst the four of them. That gives us 25 billion naira per governor. Let's assume that these 25 billion naira was stolen (tired of referring to it as 'misuse') in just a term in office. It then implies that each of them stole 17 million naira every day while in office!
The four Musketeers

In their last report on how far the world is in achieving the Millennium Development Goals, the UN reported that 64.7% of Nigerians  live under $1 dollar per day. That means 97 million Nigerians can't afford  150 naira  for eating, transportation etc per day and just 4 Nigerians by virtue of being public servants had the audacity and effrontery to embezzle 17 million naira every faithful day of service! What a service to the people!!! Do these people know what 17 million naira would do to the lives of the citizens of their states in a day??? Imagine the number of public secondary schools that would have  desks and chairs if these governors decided to be sane for just a day! Imagine the number of beds 17 million naira would have provided for their hospitals! Do you know what? With this amount of embezzled money, they had the ability to give scholarships of 100,000 naira to 170 tertiary education students every day of their administration!
A Public Secondary School

It's a pity Nigerians hear and see all these ungodly levels of corruption and still praise, salute and blow the horns of the perpetuators of the evil act. It's no news that Danjuma Goje has over 30 honorary degrees and awards from Nigerian Universities and also 20 chieftaincy titles! This is wrong!!! Many Nigerians celebrate these men and it gives upcoming public servants the urge to follow in their evil and shameful footsteps because every man wants to be celebrated! It's a fact that hypocrisy and sycophancy are good catalyst that boost misuse of power. These guys are voted in to serve and I see no use dancing and forming parades  when one of then builds a road or provides pipe-borne water because that's his job! He's to SERVE!!!

At this juncture, I would like to state that the cases of these governors are still in court and it's also likely that they embezzled more but the EFCC couldn't track the other sums. So as our public servants continue buying vehicle foot mats for 150, 000 (Bank Ole) and renovating houses for over half a billion naira (our dearest Patricia), let's do our own part by stoning them with bags of pure water whenever they are driving past (it was my friend that suggested that ooo).
Weapons of Warfare
 But Seriously … OUR PUBLIC SERVANTS SHOULD TAKE IT EASY ON OUR MONEY VAULTS!